Even if we do our best to shelter our children from the most graphic depictions of what is going in the world, the media and events that they find deeply disturbing.
The following advice can be taken by parents to help their children cope: We need to be receptive to our children’s feelings. When children express fear or worry about what they see or hear, the role of the parents is to accept these feelings from their children as being natural.
They need to convey to their children that everyone has these feelings even adults . When a child knows that his or her feeling are normal , and that he or she is not alone in feeling fear, it allows the child to cope more positively with that fear, especially when he or she sees that big people who share such fears continue to go about their daily activities in a normal manner.
We must not criticize the fear our children feel or deny their feelings. Many parent say things like :” There is no reason to be afraid” or ”don’t be frightened. They believe that such statements placate their children’s fears.
This is not the case. By denying the feelings that our children are experiencing , we actually aggravate their fears , because they feel they are doing something wrong for feeling the way they do. They need to know that everyone feels fear, just like they do.
We need to encourage our children to communicate their feelings. Some children need to put their feelings in worlds before they can deal with those feelings.
Moreover, some children confuse their genuine feelings with imaginary ones. Just talking about what they feel gives many children comfort, since they know that they have an outlet whenever they come under stress . As parents, we need to encourage communication and also accept from them what they feel, without criticism or condemnation, as we have already explained.
In addition, We need to answer their questions honestly. In the face of such crisis, children will definitely have many questions going through their minds. Moreover, the fertile imaginations that children possess can make them construct things in their minds that have no grounds in reality.
This is why critical no matter how complicated or silly our children’s questions might seem to us as parents that we do our best to answer those questions accurately and honestly .
If we do not know the answer, we should be able to say ”I don’t know”. Honest answer help children to distinguish what is reality from the constructs of their imaginations. If children cannot find answer s from the people they look up to, their imaginations will run wild.
We can help our children to describe what they are feeling. After a child speaks about what he or she feels, it is possible for the parent to identify or describe that feeling for the child .
For instance, a parent can say” you are sacred for your brothers and sisters in palestine”. Or you are worried that the same thing could happen to us here”.
Helping to put their feelings into words does not make things worse, like some people think. Rather, it helps children psychologically, allowing them to better understanding what is going through their minds, and by letting them know that the people around them understand and respect their feelings.
We must teach our children how to best cope with their fears. By showing sympathy for our children’s fear. We help our children to overcome them. When a child says that he or she is frightened that bombs will fall on the house, it is an opportunity to explain to the child that such things are indeed frightening but they are taking place far away.
We should feel worried, but not for ourselves, but rather for our fellow human being over there who are living through tragedy. We can take this occasion to teach our children to supplicate to God to protect them.
We should channel their feelings in positive ways . Children are more disposed than older people to feel sympathy for others and make sacrifices for them. We can ask our children to make suggestions how we can help our brothers and sisters who are suffering in the world. Maybe the children can donate some of his or her little money no matter that it is very little to grant relief to the victims of tragedy.
This increases their sense of solidarity while reducing their feelings of fear. It increases the desire of the children to be more charitable in their future lives,and to be more ready supplicate to God to help these who are suffering.
We should use the occasion to teach our children. Many children do not appreciate what they have. They are born into a lifewhere they are blessed with a comfortable home, enough food to eat, and toys to play with. They take all of this for granted. When they are disturbed by a tragedy like what is taking place in gaza, we can use the opportunity to teach our children importance of thanking God for the blessings He has bestowed upon us.
We need to show our children that we love them. Sometimes children need to be re assured that their parents will do everything to protect them from what frightens them. They need to know that their parents are there for them. We need to hug our children and kiss them when we see that they are frightened or under stress. At the same time, depending on the child’s age, we need to give the child confidence that God, in His wisdom, has decreed everything for humanity and that we must rely on Him and go on with our lives though there are dangers out there.
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